Alright kiddies, two things on the menu today on the old blogsphere.  I am going to start with the first thing, rather than the last thing, because if I started with the last thing then it would cease to be the last thing and become the first thing.

Anyway, first things first.  If you know me then you know that I am scared to death of snakes.  Why am I scared to death of snakes?  I have no idea!  As a kid I remember getting ready to leave around Thanksgiving to visit my Grandmother.  My dad was out smoking near a ditch by where we lived.  He bent down and picked up a snake.  He brought it back to the apartment and was like, “hey guys look what I found”!  It freaked me out. 

Why did it freak me out?  I have no idea.  Maybe because it was really green.  Maybe because it had no legs.  Or maybe, just maybe because it tried to strangle me with its’ tail.  Well maybe the last thing was just made up.

Anyway, this summer shortly after we had the raccoon try to shack up in our backyard I started noticing some holes around our yard barn.  I tried to explain them away, but as time went on I became more and more convinced that I had a little el serpiente living in my backyard.

Of course this really bothered me.  I started avoiding the area.  If I had to go back to the area to mow or something, I quickly ran the mower over everything and just prayed nothing happened.

Well recently while on a trip with some friends they convinced me that snakes didn’t make holes and that I probably had some mice or something back there.  I doubted at first but went to my trusty Wikipedia.org and discovered that most snakes don’t make holes.

This gave me confidence, and slowly I started making more and more adventures back to the yard barn.  The holes were still there but I became quite comfortable in the fact that they were voles or something.

Well yesterday was yard work day.  I cut out and dug up all the flowers that had been killed by the frost last week.  I then proceeded to tear down and put away all the garden implements.  I chopped down the garden and then turned it over with the hoe.  

During this time Annie was mowing the lawn and bagging up the clippings to try to get the leaves up.  I decided I was going to head back to mulch bin, behind the yard barn and turn over the mulch with my pitch fork.   

All of a sudden I saw Annie jump and run across the backyard.  I didn’t know what to think, so I ran toward her asking her what was wrong.  She couldn’t talk, she just made noises and jumped around.  Finally, she got out snake.

Well the Frau ran over a dang snake in our yard.  It wasn’t anywhere near the yard barn, it was on the completely opposite side of the yard.  Of course, me being a huge wuss wouldn’t go look at it.  I made Annie go back over and she said she thought it was dead.  I didn’t know what to do, but I knew one thing…. I wasn’t going anywhere near that dang schlange (German for snake).   I went over to my neighbor’s house and inquired on his feelings about snakes.  

He said he won’t pick them up but he would take a look.  He went over and took a look.  The snake was still there.  Apparently his head had been chopped off by the lawn mower blade (YES!), but we are pretty sure his head went into the lawn mower bag (NO!).   Well, my neighbor got him picked up (his tail was still moving) and we put him into a plastic bag.  (MY HERO!). 

Incidentally, they have their house for sale, I hope they don’t move…. but that is wrong of me.

So anyway, that is one snake down.  Maybe there was only one, but somehow I don’t think that is true.  Thoughts anyone?   Does anyone have a Mongoose I can borrow?

I decided that I probably ought to draw a picture showing what exactly happened.

Remember that magazine Highlights, that you would read at the dentist office?  Well let's play the game where you try to find certain things in the picture.

Can you find

• The headless snake
• Stuart
• The lawn mower
• Grass (look hard, it is there)
• Chain Link fence
• Fighter Jet
• Alien Invasion
• Alien Invasion being repelled by warplane
• Government cover up regarding alien invasion.
• Baseball Bat

Circle all of the objects, send it back to me and a lucky boy or girl who found all of the objects will win a prize!!!!!!!!!!!!!!